my wife doesn't touch me sexually anymore

I am a 52 year old woman who has had a hysterectomy and has gone through menopause and I have always had a high libido and still do. Im throwing my partner out the door due to his rants and anger over lack of sex. I domt have to put up with that. Ive lived through a sexless marriage myself. Harley, I am doing none of those things. If your wife seems distant, take a step back to analyze where you may have gone wrong or why you feel like she cannot trust you again. But men also have 12-15 times more testosterone than women far higher sex drives and are capable of siring hundreds of times more children than women are capable of bearing. who cares any more if your in a sexless marriage! Ive moved on!!! Does your wife feel seen and heard in the relationship, or is she never in the mood because she usually feels overlooked? Youre saying I love her, etc etc and she couldnt care less? Senior Planet subscribers also get The Weekly Orbit, our newsletter with features about personal finance, health and fitness, technology tips, an online book club and more! It is a precursor and will stimulate the Adrenal glands to produce more testosterone. The situations here are not just issues for straight couples. Well, our partners dont seem to care they are hurting us. 10 years of this and going on5 years since last try, dont sleep in same be, snoring medical issues up down. Hello Mary I can imagine how frustrating it it is for you.I am 65 years old and my wife is 64.My wife is on anti-depressants and she says that she has no desire for sex We have been married for 44 years now.I last had sex about 8 years ago My wife is a very beautiful woman and I am absolutely so frustrated and find that looking at porn and mastubating is not ideal anymore, What I need is a woman, but I am afraid to approach another woman for sex for the fear of rejection, I do not want to have sex with a prostitute. . Your email address will not be published. Get our newsletters to make sure you never miss a thing! My husband has no sex drive at all. If your wife is avoiding sex, the emotional connect is missing, 5. nuff said. But he keeps wanting to try and work on it and cant seem to accept that Im changing as I grow old. . You have no idea how ignorant your statement is. I like to think there is hope but unsure. All this can cause a person to go into anger and hibernate. My wife and I had a beautiful sex life until she started to have complex female problems that resulted in a partial histerectomy and even after the procedure she finds sex very painful. Most women who go through postpartum depression also find it increasingly difficult to get physically involved. Hes no longer a sexy looking man, doesnt care about trying to make himself better, I still fight to try to look really good, no matter how I feel. Besides intercourse itself, she turns me away when I attempt to initiate some sort of intimacy by kissing or stroking, things she used to love in the past. "The identity of a young parent can become entirely entwined with that of the children. But no sex. Dear, PS Bishislife, I figured this was my life, deal with it and shut up. Youre doing them harm when refusing. How about just being happy with love and affection? Prior to that, for seven years, we would occasionally engage in oral, which was unsatisfying since it was one sided and felt mechanical. As a socialite in many women sponsored events, I believe her marriage status is important in her social circle than her marriage itself. As Gopa points out, the reasons can stem from resentment to communication gaps or personal issues. Best to all. If youre living with a gut feeling that your wife avoids intimacy on purpose, it may be time to take matters into your hand to rejuvenate your relationship. Ive tried scheduling, bringing in sex toys, texting, dating, hugging and cuddling in bed you name it. Weekly turned into Monthly then every 3 or 4 months question about sex. Once youre accustomed to porn, youve trained your brain to need it. . All through this past Covid year, only one time did she come forward an say I need a hug. Make time when you are both relaxed. She was before marriage. Im 77 and if I felt my husband was dissatisfied with our sexless, but not loveless, marriage, Id choose to be single. But we dont have sex or make love or anything you want to call it! If you are tired of initiating intimacy and your wife doesnt want sex anymore, it may be time to consider marriage counseling. He worked constantly on the mid night shift away from me. Over 12 years no sexual contact. You definitely dont get it. She is somewhat stressed by the reduction in lifestyle we have been reduced to, after years of six figure income for both of us. We still find a way a couple of times a month, but it took my husband a long time to not feel he was at fault. I guarantee most who do this will start feeling like a sex machine. When I wanted to leave, the only family I had told me theyd not support me whatsoever and just shut up grow up and deal with it and Id better do whatever it took to keep the husband. I though it was my age, now I am 65 look OK, but not yong any more. My wife never trys to turn me on or initiate sex. please Just told her I wasnt going to follow all her B.S rule and moved out of the bedroom. I love him and still desire him (even though he lost his hair and gained a gut!!) If you have always been the one to initiate intimacy in your relationship, take a step back and tell her how sexy you think it would be for her to be the one to reach out. Seeing a therapist or speaking with her doctor about her mental health is a step in the right direction to help you recognize the woman you fell in love with. Do this without the expectation of sexual intimacy. If a couple's sex life continues to follow a routine that doesn't tend to feel good for the woman, she may lose interest in having sex entirely. She may be experiencing depression or a lack of self-confidence, or maybe she feels like she's failing at this parenting thing. I can live with that, but I can not live with never being touched or made love to ever again. I have tried to have a heartfelt conversation but he is not willing to talk about it. He is overly stressed from work. why is he grumpy? Im gonna ask you a serious question please be honest. She received her journalism degree from Northwestern University, and her writings on sex, relationships, identity, and wellness have appeared at The Cut, Vice, Teen Vogue, Cosmopolitan, and elsewhere. So our sex lives dwindled until around 15 years ago she realized a more regular sex life might be a good thing. Marriage is hard work, but worth every moment when the effort is reciprocated. Agree, I have accepted the fact Im now in a sexless marriage, ugh! I am sorry I stayed, but life, illness, dementia parents and a son kept me in this sexless marriage. What to do about it: Address the ongoing conflicts in your relationship. Yet she constantly professes love. Hi Christi, the best thing about this article is the comment section! Why do women marry a good provider and run around with the empty pocket young studs? When your wife avoids physical contact, it could be because of resentment, 13. For men the cost is being far more productive than hed need to be if caring only for himself and to forsake all other partners in pairing with his wife exclusively. I agree, there is more going on than just someone spending all their time doing other things. Thats abusive and hurtful too. I agree, once they stop theres nothing thats going to get them interested or willing to do it again. Not addressing the problem out of fear of confrontation will only make matters worse. Let the in-laws or best friend care for your children for a day or two. Meanwhile, I encourage you to keep masturbating. But did you notice that men have to make the first move? The comments given above is very true. Nor, should they be. A study published by the. I have given up trying since the rejections and sometimes total indifference is devastating. I just CANNOT do things he EXPECTS from me because of how that makes me feel, ESPECIALLY when it comes to intimacy. A marriage I have no interest in ending, ever. But we didnt know what we had. Meanwhile. Theres no divorce possibility. I am a 58 year old woman. Men are very simple to please. But to then take into account the Catholic Churchs stance on that interjects another sticking point, if I may use that term. Are you in a similar place in your relationship? I want my wife to be happy with the experience as well. My wife and I lost our beloved son several years ago. My advice would be to sort these problems out before the years pass and certainly before there are children as I think most men have a stronger sense of loyalty and decency than they are often given credit for and are willing to forgo what is a very primal need for the sake of a stable relationship. Its is not your role. She has rejected counseling and even criticizes my masterbation or porn. And Ive been caught too. Someone who spends all their time on the computer or their phone is looking for something or someone other than the person they are with. I have the same problem I love my wife but I need sex. Subscribe now (do it here) and dont miss a single column. There are many causes, physical and emotional, why your wife wont have sex with you anymore. This really sucks. We signed for our first mortgage when she was in ICU with fourth-stage cancer. Slept in basement for a few years until I built my own space that had an apartment and work shop. Ive got wonder if she really was just needing something to be mad at me for. Blah blah blah. We may as well sleep in separate beds at this point. Its a disturbing trap that you must avoid. Not you at all by the sounds of it. I wish we were closer because I would love to meet you. Monica..give her satisfaction .. that is exactly what I would love to do for my wife of 30 years. But it isnt. Take stock of all the good things you still have in your relationship that you might not find again. I am 64 years old and I have not had sex with my wife for about 7 years, she is 59 years old. I rest my case. At 20 years I did start having a partner on the side because I was very sexually frustrated and that partner within the same situation. And its been going that way for years. Hope your marriage will last till you die you depart. Wtf are we supposed to do when our spouse doesnt want to make love? He is impotent due to hydrocele and he plans to have surgery until hes 65. Man, thats no way to respond to your wife, person you care deeply about whos saying to you that theyre experiencing mental health crisis in your relationship. When a wife who has to cook, clean, take care of the kids, do the laundry, pick the kids up from school and take a couple of classes she is too tired to perform another task after all that she has done in one day. Shes been mostly dry since a few years before menopause. When was the last time you went out on a date together? If your wife is going to have any appropriate romance in her life, its going to come from you. While men often connect to their wives through physical intimacy, a wife needs a mix of physical arousal and, Love Hormones Unraveling the Veracity of the Science of Love. Who knows, maybe something will change as nothing stays the same. Unfortunately, Buck Necked is correct. Ive always wanted sex more than she has, though the first years were pretty satisfying for both of us. So to the Men out there (here) complaining about their sexless marriagesMove On! Someone on the side. I became so dry that sex was painful, we tried different lubricants but nothing really helped much. 10. What does it mean when your wife doesn't show affection? Its always whatever you want then she lays there kind of tense. I am 64 now and have had some vaginal atrophy, which made penetration hurt, but I take a vaginal pill twice a week. For example, depression, as well as the medication used to manage it, can take a toll on ones libido. Should I let him go elsewhere? Wednesday, August 30, 2017 Be truthful. If your wife avoids intimacy and this lack of intimacy is beginning to take a toll on your marital bliss, it is time to have an honest conversation with your spouse. Its like he just doesnt think about it ever. . 2. You have slipped into being neutral around her, rather than being masculine and making her feel girly in your presence Inside, you may feel very masculine or confident, but she's not going to feel any desire to be affectionate if you don't use your masculinity to make her feel feminine (rather than neutral) in comparison to you. She may begin to stop seeing herself as a sexual being as she assumes the role of mother, a role that society often strongly desexualizes. /** I go where I want and do my own thing, theres no where are you going, screaming and name calling. My husband and I are working on these issues now, and it takes some serious ,painful discussion. So in summary, WHAT ARE THE OPTIONS IN THIS KIND OF SITUATION? I think because I really enjoyed masturbating from my semenarche to marriage, I brought in a healthy way of looking at sex. She has very little interest in penetration. Childbirth is a life-altering experience thats not just hard on a womans body but also her mind. For fucks sake man. With a lot of talk and communication, we have made peace with our sex life. I feel so much pain amd resentment!!! Thank you for indiviualizing yozr response. I do not understand why they got married in the first place!!! Is your husband on HRT as well? Between her legs the next time.4, stop watching porn if you know this makes her feel uncomfortable as we all know when men watch porn that will lead into you not being able to get it up for her because you have been watching photoshops porn and all you want is that fake lady so you go out and cheat on your wife then come home and accuse her of cheating and thats why she is not having sex with you. If your wife is struggling with any mental health issues, she may be less interested in sex at the moment. He wears it and with a little imagination it can work just like the real thing. This is hard, because of my upbringing and the fact she is a wonderful person in every other way. That had bee. 5509 W. Gray Street, Suite 100Tampa, FL 33609(813) 222-8300, Copyright 2022 Family First, INC. All Rights Reserved.Site Design by Design Extensions, 4 Things to Do When Your Wife Wont Touch You. I was married for 24 years. Life is complicated at every age but I think as people age, hormone levels drop of course and the baggage of decades gone by begins to weigh heavy on both parties. Sucks to be me, right! Now it is back to looking at every other couple as maybe having something unattainable for me and my Wife. I had a few clients who had a baby and found it difficult to start getting physically intimate with their spouses again because theyre not comfortable with their bodies, says Gopa. I am in your same position but from the other side I am a 64 year old healthy, active man. No amount of therapy, joint or individual, will fix this issue. bcb . My wife never touches me anymore after weve had our child, Greg told us. I made the decision that I would just say screw it and NOT think about sex at all. Nothing physical. Ill keep this short, but I could write a short novel. The counselor ABSOLUTELY never touched on the subject of sex. As a kid I grew up without Christmas or birthdays. 8 reasons why your wife never initiates intimacy, 5 things to do if your wife never initiates intimacy, My wife never wants to have sex 8 ways to initiate intimacy, 15 Things A Woman Can Do to Spice Up the Bedroom, How to Have Better Sex in a Marriage: 20 Helpful Tips, 30+ Best Sex Tips for Women That Drive Men Crazy, 30 Hot Sex Games for Couples to Play Tonight, 10 Helpful Tips if Youre Tired of Initiating Intimacy, 5 Benefits of Maintenance Sex for Relationships and Marriage, How Physical Relationship Before Marriage Affects Your Relationship, How Relationship Coaching for Men Can Transform Your Love, 30 Traditional and Modern Anniversary Gifts Year by Year, Relationship Bullying: Meaning, Signs and What to Do, 100 Romantic and Funny Questions to Ask Your Husband, Top 100 Wedding Registry Ideas That Can Make You Happy, 100+ Inspirational Womens Day Messages for Your Wife, 50 Fun Things For Couples To Do At Home When Bored, 100 Best International Womens Day Quotes for Your Lady, The Importance Of Maintaining Healthy Family Relationships, Sexless Marriage: Reasons, Effects & Tips To Deal With It, What To Do When You Feel No Emotional Connection With Your Husband, 25 Common Marriage Problems Faced by Couples & Their Solutions, 50+ Best Funny Marriage Advice: Finding Humor in Commitment, 35 Relationship Goals for Couples & Tips to Achieve Them, Feeling No Emotional Connection With Your Husband, How to Get Back Together After Separation, 6 Ways to Tell if Someone is Lying About Cheating, 5 Signs That You Are Living in a Toxic Marriage, 7 Important Tips to Build Trust in a Relationship, 10 Effective Communication Skills for Healthy Marriages, 20 Signs of a Married Man in Love With Another Woman. Especially if you once had a healthy and active sex life. Lack of interest does not equate to lack of love. Self-love is the answer, but you can help, too. Keep it as quick as I can at 41 I had neck surgery, nothing below waist working very well, had penis pump install, went from 6 to 3 (maybe) tip flops around cant penetrate vagina.she at time started Menopause and wasnt really interested anyway. Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life. Sex is not just about giving what you get, its about an experience that both partners should enjoy equally. Does your wife struggle with self-love? I love him more than the day we were married many many years ago. Porn is the no. you probably love your husband, or at least the person he once was when you were first together. We have done counseling and it always comes back to my issues which I work on but have never seen any change from her. I was her first love. I get you have energy for everyone but me. I have 2 nephews, age 6 & 7, from my brother 13 years younger than me. While some of the underlying factors can be weeded out with the right approach and mindset, others can be more damaging to the entire relationship. Husband even can not touch her, let alone touch to arouse her. I need love that bad to hang on to a partner that never wants sex? If you notice intimacy is fading from your marriage, heres what to do when your wife wont touch you. Guess were done here . I dont know if thats whats happening for her, and of course the only way to know is to ask her. I just cant keep going like this. Its dinner cooked and eaten together, with enjoyment on both sides. If I threw a fit, she would allow it but Buck is correct, who wants to have sex with someone who is repulsed by the act of sex. Most stay in the marriage because of kids and the men cheat as they should. We had a fantastic time learning each other and how to do it together! I had four children from a previous marriage, I had a tubal ligation reversal so we could have a child of our own, By serious good luck, we had one. Counseling is usually the way out but unfortunately most people in a relationship dont want to go that route (or at least one of them doesnt). If your wife is going to have any appropriate romance in her life, its going to come from you. If your wife doesnt feel confident about her physical appearance, she may have inadvertently shut down your sex life. Thats a depressing thought too. When they stop they stop. I understand that kids, work, and home projects can weaken your romantic side over time, but it doesnt have to be that way. not someone to basically jerk off into. Is there anything I can do. What to do about it: If you've talked about all the other reasons on this list and mutually feel great about your relationship (talk to her about thisdon't assume! We started dating in high school and never separated. We are both quite healthy but she has little interesting sex now. For me she is the best woman I have ever been with. 1. I know that it sounds crazy but I never thought about it but that part of our problem came to a head after our 35 year old son (our only child) was killed in an on the job accident. You can bring up your feelings about the importance of sex in your relationship so that she knows and can let you know what she has the capacity for. We lose ourselves. Lets face it, as women age, many lose sex drive, along with experiencing a good number of other sexual problems. Hes changing tooisnt capable of long walks or hikes anymore, which is still something I love to do. Although she initially helped with my toddlers, she eventually lost interest and helped only occasionally. I had to fend for myself, and I could have done that before we were married. There are many men, myself included, who desire far more than just a quick physical release, and who see their wife as a partner in a shared loving experience, not a living sex toy to use and the put away once satisfied. In this case, you can turn the tide for your sex life by simply becoming more involved in running the household and making your wife feel special by going the extra mile toreduce her burden. only issue. // IMPORTANT: Replace EXAMPLE with your forum shortname! Its strictly psychological as I have no problems when alone or watching porn, which she is totally against. I am 65 and raring to go and caopable of satisfying a woman in her 30s. What to do about it: Make time to emotionally connect with each other and rekindle your soul connection. Weve been married 27 years, sex I am retired on social security, having spent my entire returment funds on an expensive divorce and a protracted hospital stay and heart and brain surgeries. Somehow I thought that would be my fix. My Wife Loves Me But Doesn't Want Sex: Why & What To Do - YourTango * https://disqus.com/admin/universalcode/#configuration-variables I cant hurt her, no way! My 20 year marriage imploded because my husband completely lost his testosterone at age 55. In other cases, when the in-laws are constantly meddling the resentment may make it seem like you have an unloving wife but shes actually just frustrated at the lack of privacy, says Gopa. Thank you for sharing! Whenever equality or egalitarianism gets discussed in the context of marriage, you can be sure this will involve benefits/advantages, whether natural or societal, that men have that ought to be shared equally with women and not benefits/advantages, whether natural or societal, that women have that ought to be shared equally with men. Isnt going to happen. Wife does not want me to touch her and immediately goes back to We werent intimate back then, and a quirk of fate brought us together recently. I had suggest different ways to have sex and she blew up, I was bored and suggested maybe trying different ways, right away I was a pervert and she called me names that shouldnt be repeated here and kicked out of bed. After being away for a month I lay there hoping to speak to to my wife and greet her in the morning after a long nights sleep. Every month in Sex at Our Age, award-winning senior sexpert Joan Price answers your questions about everything from loss of desire to solo sex and partner issues. But now living with you is not what she thought it would be and she closes shop on you. I cannot hurt him. My Wife is Not Affectionate Anymore | The Modern Man Being in a sexless marriage is great, we havent had sex, intimacy togetherness for 40 years. Woman think if they dont want a penis inside them that thats it, no sex. I do raise the issue with her from time to time. But how does that viewpoint help you find happiness in life? Please enable JavaScript to view the comments powered by Disqus. I have often thought about having an affair but I just dont know how to approach going that direction. Foreplay doesnt start in the bedroom, foreplay is EVERY day regardless if sex is on the table or not. Not easy for her to open up and talk about thingsbeen that way all of our married lives..43 plus years. I dont even bother to talk to her (all she does is whine and complain). Most men do their deed and roll over.

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