funny response to are you still alive

5 Opening Texts She HAS to Respond To (And Why) 1) "Hey, it's that really charming, irresistible guy from last night" 2) "How's your week looking? Recognize the other person's boundaries, and try not to cross them. I am doing wellor that could be my anti-depressants speaking. Could be payday. I am not sure what you mean. 9. If you're brain-dead, you're dead. Physically? I'm alive, whoa! They used to call them jumpolines, until your mom jumped on one. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Financially? This is another funny response that you can use to say that you did a little something different this morning. 3. If you are, then maybe were meant to be! Because Jamaican me crazy! I only went to the gym four times instead of my usual five." Sarcastic response: "Yeah totally. 25 Witty Comebacks To Use On Terrible Pick Up Lines Ghosting is an unfortunately very common occurrence, according to a 2020 Hinge survey, which found that 91% of users had been ghosted at least once. ", This one works well when you're still in your pajamas or are having a bad hair day. Mark Twain (author), "I like sleeping; it's like death without the commitment." Living the dream! How are you? Oct 13, 2021 - Explore Beverly Sadler Majkut's board "MAXINE CARTOONS", followed by 864 people on Pinterest. On this page, I've gathered together 100 of the best. 100+ Funny and Clever Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?" Im sorry I hurt your feelings. Are you going to marry me? (Say it like he or. Is it your job to spread ignorance? Steven Wright (comedian), "What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death." Here are some of the most humorous replies to "How are you? 86 Funny and Flirty Responses To 'How Are You Doing?' - Monk at 25 20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent 20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent Relationship. Your lips are moving, but all I hear is blah, blah, blah.. It must have been a long, lonely journey. Or you could be humorous back at them and say "No, I'm not. Dear family and friends of Arthur Dayn, As we enter into an unprecedented dark age with the invisible enemy known as COVID-19, the life of our dear friend Arthur Dayn ends. Should I consider that a marriage proposal from you? Share the best GIFs now >>> Some of the best, wittiest, and most humorous quotations in the English language are quotations about age, childhood, adolescence, middle age, and old age most of all, about growing old! How much are you willing you pay me if I tell you? You win the internet. What should I doI like you too much. Real may recognize real, but real also recognizes thoughtless people who don't deserve your time. Hanging by a thread. Not so much. Brian OldWolf (author) from Troon on January 20, 2020: Shing Araya from Philippines on January 08, 2020: All are witty and funny at the same time. So, you changed your mind? Well, I have to go to work so Ill try and make the best of it. 36. By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. April 6, 2018 There's nothing funny about being in a courtroom. Your attempt at social interaction to be polite is hereby acknowledged. When they play it cool, play it ice cold. It would be great if puppies would stay puppies forever. It's Okay. I am the hurricane setting fire to the forests at night when no one else is alive or awake however you choose to see it and I live in my own flames sometimes burning too bright and too wild to make things last or handle myself or anyone else and so I run. Im too fine for the ugly, yet too ugly for the fine. Heart-shattering. The hottest single of the year is me. 68. 100 Good Comebacks Best Funny, Witty Comebacks Ever - Parade 11. Sort: Relevant Newest # living # seth meyers # im here # its me # lnsm # tired # dead # shot # arrows # loser # hello # hi # hey # tap # listen # alive # pearl jam # eddie vedder # i'm good # i'm ok Her sessions aim to bring about transformation in her clients lives, perspectives, and relationships. 3. 1. Perhaps you are just such an exciting person. But sometimes sending a little message before excommunication can give you the confidence boost you need to dropkick them from your mind for forever. Nice outfit. "Tony, I'm here to be for you what someone once was for me. Nasty comebacks dont require a lot of wit; instead, these will land your target flat on their back and wallowing in self pity. Brian OldWolf (author) from Troon on July 30, 2020: Yes, this is a very witty, funny article. 52. If you're going to be two-faced, you could at least make one of them pretty. Sorry, life. TikTok video from Mark Winston (@markwinstonbball): "Are you still alive? The music billboard charts got it wrong! Stop joking! 48. [Read: How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU]. If this doesn't get a response, it's sure to get a laugh. Financially? On a scale of one to punching someone in the face, I am at 7.5. 101 Funny And Witty Responses To The Question "How Are You?" Cant complainI have tried, but no one listens. With a self-assured stance and casual body language, you won't create any . I havent found anyone who matches my kinks yet. Elon Musk targets Sen. Bernie Sanders over tax tweet: 'I keep Through humorous musings about Scalia's . But if youre getting fed up with always being asked the same questions, you shouldnt feel bad about giving a funny or witty reply. It's one of the best replies to "How are you?". If you have nothing to add and to share with a person, this saves their day, too. provided, of course, that he really is dead." Its more likely that theyre just being a bad friend. Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. Thats because Im still waiting for you. If I wanted to commit suicide, Id climb your ego and jump to your IQ level. Your birth certificate is an apology to your parents from the hospital. 51 Funny and Flirty Responses to "How Are You" Texts Alternatively, you can let them know you are doing well but still need time to process your emotions. If you knock on my hearts door, I might let you in. This one could be a funny or cute response to sorry for a late reply, based on how they take it. No, I'm Finnish. The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's butt and wait. Whatever your thoughts on death may be, I hope you enjoy these random humorous quotes about mortality, death, and dying. Cookie Notice 3. No? My bed only has enough room for me and my dog. Not even the fussiest, or clingiest person in the world would expect a dead person to reply to them. is willie rogers of the soul stirrers still alive; cal berkeley football recruiting questionnaire; american housewife cancelled. 81. I favour the "How am I what?" Let's grab a drink" 3) "Hey, how was that [insert something specific she mentioned when you met her]?" 4) "You can stop worrying about me I made it home safely last night" I thought I had the flu, but then I realized your face makes me sick to my stomach. Do you have a minute? is perfect for lunch-time banter with colleagues. 75. "Ugh I was so lazy this week. How to Respond to An Insult With Humor? 41+ Best Comebacks Relationships, Marriage, Couples, Grief, Life Coaching, Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, Relationships, Beauty & Lifestyle, Health & Wellness, Infographic: Tips To Continue A Conversation After Responding To How Are You. 55. Im reminded of how unfair life is every time I see you. If I was any better, vitamins would be taking me. Today, well look at 30 ways you can respond to a late message or reply. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. If I had a tail, I'd wag it. Looks like I overestimated the number of brain cells you have. As unlikely as this is, it might be wise to double-check. Whats a funny way to respond to the question 'Are you still alive?' Theres too much Ghostbusters texting potential to not take advantage of the pun-tastic opportunity. 86. funny response to are you still alive. conservation international ceo; little debbie peanut butter creme pies discontinued. Youre supposed to think that theyre so busy being cool that they dont have time for you. I dont think youre an idiot but whats my opinion compared to countless others? Reply. 67 Of The Most Hilarious Responses To Public Notices Ever 7. Voice command: Alexa, I am your father. Is everything stable at your end? I hated you the moment I met you, and I still hate you. Although for some, traveling to your partner might not be an option. Now you can be! I'd love to give you a nasty look, but it appears you already have one. It's one of the best replies to "How are you?" The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. Don't Push It Too Far. I am not looking for anyone, and neither is anyone looking for me. To answer those who know you and the situation you're going through, use these replies. No one will expect to hear it, so you'll be catching your friends off guard. This does not seem right. Which one you use would depend on particular circumstances, but in the example you gave, I think "still alive" probably works best. [*clap your hands*]. Wondering How You Are 1 I'm Better on the inside than I Look on the outside This one works well when you're still in your pajamas or are having a bad hair day. " Actually, you're mad" is a version of the classic, rhetorically sophisticated comeback "I'm rubber, you're glue." This one is the white-belt level of "who's mad?" martial arts a simple. StyleCraze provides content of general nature that is designed for informational purposes only. Check out: Image credits Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash. It looks a little too clingy and hard to maintain. 53. Hi! "Fine" is a boring conversation-killer. On Mars, cell phone reception might not be too good. Sometimes, it can be hard thinking on your feet, especially when youre joking around with your friends or in the midst of a heated exchange. "Accept the facts for what they are, and be grateful you're not being strung along or played.". Firing back with something a little funny or witty will make them take notice! While using humor and creativity in your responses is fun, ensure you steer clear from using puns related to religion and sensitive topics. Im single by choice. Its a shame you cant Photoshop your personality. If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. [Read: 20 things you MUST know to master a dry sense of humor]. 13 Wildly Successful People Answer the Question: "What Do You Do?" You could totally take the high road: Lose their number and forget about them altogether or, you could do that after sending them a final funny (but fierce) text to bid your time together adieu. Im not single. I cant complain, not that anyone listens anyway. 5 Ways To Respond To Hey Stranger And Other Annoying Texts Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. Maybe the reply is just taking a long time to come back. You nervously reply "yeah, but I'm a little busy and-", only for one person to reply "um, no one asked you. 1. count_scoopula 6 yr. ago. In fact, theyre taking too much of it. Oof, gotta hide! 8. Is your family tree a cactus? The living are getting rarer. Eugene Lonesco (playwright), Dying is easy; its living that scares me to death. Annie Lennox (musician), If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the UP button. Sam Levenson (humorist), Ive looked that old scoundrel death in the eyes many times but this time I think he has me on the ropes. Douglas MacArthur (general), Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up. Wilson Mizner (playwright), The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades, especially if your teammates are bad guessers. Demetri Martin (comedian), I intend to live forever or die trying. Groucho Marx (comedian), Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatsoever to do with it. William Somerset Maugham (author), The art of dying graciously is nowhere advertised in spite of the fact that its market potential is great. Milton Mayer (author), At my age, I do what Mark Twain did. If you were twice as smart as you are now, youd be stupid. 101 Savage, Good Comebacks for Every Witty, Funny or Rude - LovePanky 7. But, as soon as we feel better, that person no longer serves their purpose. Surveys show that divorce rates are nonexistent among single people. I learned my lesson. What Can Be the Worst Epic Responses To I Love You? - Bonobology.com Things can't get much better and you want the world to know. 94. Youre not really expecting them to write you an essay. Same thing youre doing, talking to you now. All you have to do is save this page, or commit to memory some of our favorite insults from the following list, and youll be all set. [Read: 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm]. For instance, have you hooked up since you've broken up? Thomas Andrew Lehrer (/ l r r /; born April 9, 1928) is an American musician, singer-songwriter, satirist, and mathematician, who later taught mathematics and musical theater.He recorded pithy and humorous songs that became popular in the 1950s and 1960s. HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. Hence, you may need to put in some effort to keep the conversation flowing. Your question is registered, we will answer when in the mood. Your hair looks great! You know when you go to meet some friends, or friends of your friends, or to a party or whatever, when you meet someone new, at some point people ask you: "SO WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?" And what I wanted to do in this thread is list the craziest answers that you can give, you know, shock people or create an extremely awkard moment. Theres this one time when a cute guy/gal asked me if I have a boyfriend/girlfriend and I said yes because I didnt hear the question. WHAT DID THEY SAY?? I'm overqualified! Take Your Time. I was actually talking to my friend". Canva. Thats because my husband/wife wont let me date. I and others have experienced, on several occasions, that your breath. Like are you asking because you really wanna hear whats up?. 18. Why dont you tell me, you seem to have a pretty good view from there. My lawyer told me not to answer that question. Then they throw dirt in your face. 37. So perhaps the issue is not that they are taking a long time to reply. 93. Some people may have thyroid problems, but I can tell youre fat because youre lazy. Well, seeing as you care, how long do you have? It would be easy to answer that question with a simple "I'm fine, thank you.". Do I look like someone whos into cheesy things like romantic relationships?! [Read: 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use]. Your email address will not be published. 17. Another excuse that people use is Im just hoping in the shower. Tip #3 - Confidence is Key. Tell her that you're there for her to make her laugh, if she needs some company. Everyone always thinks being asked how you are means your health or a general standing-but what about if it isn't? 2. 90 Sarcastic Quotes for Witty Comebacks Full of Sarcasm - Quote Ambition Impressive! For more information, please see our 900+ MAXINE CARTOONS ideas | maxine, bones funny, funny quotes - Pinterest I have found that people in a coma find it very difficult to hold a phone, turn it on, look at their messages, think of a reply, and then type out their reply. (bonus points to you if you sing it). "My level of sarcasm has gotten to a point where I don't even know if I am kidding anymore.". Funny responses to "How are you?" Photo courtesy of Canva. Who knows, they might just do it. If you're really feeling them, you can give them one last chance to make up for their communication lag. Its always annoying when people take a long time to reply. There's no reason why you should have to express emotions to whoever asked. If there is just one valid reason for someone not replying to you, that reason would be their death. I died last week, since then. "The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive." Sarcastic response: Express the appropriate level of enthusiasm, then let this handsome, cheeky British man (aka Jimmy from You're The Worst) do the talking: 3. This one is a bit depressing, which is why you should watch when you use it. [Read: The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company]. I agree, thanks for sharing. But it does help if you know your audience when responding to someone. And maybe thats the reason why theyre taking so long to reply. Well, I'm old enough to beat you in a marathon. 19 Funny Texting Comebacks To Always Come Out On Top - TextGod.com "It's your ego that wants to lash out," Winter tells Bustle. I plead the fifth. On a scale of 1 to 10, Id say somewhere between 1 and 10. What is the polite way for asking if someone is still alive? 2. "See, I will finally make you smile.". "Hey You, I'm really good. Most of the time, that is not true. 14. can be tackled in some really interesting ways. I have a gold watch that belonged to him. Funny Responses to "What Are You Doing?" What does it look like I'm doing? 28. Here, there are hilarious replies, witty comebacks, flirty responses, and many other answers to this question. We cant always get what we want now, can we? So, it might be wise to double-check they're still alive before you complain. Thats because I only enjoy long, romantic walks to the fridge. And if they don't reply to this, you can walk the walk away. Use the opportunity to make a good impression. Brilliant! (Use a sexy tone). You look tired. Dont wake me up yet. When someone insults someone, the insulted might walk out of the room, or just stop talking to the other person. 41. I cant even afford to feed myself! 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass! Happy, and I know it. Are you always this dumb, or are you making a special effort today? Suppose you're about to join a group when they stop by and ask if you want to join. No, waitIm actually plural. 3. Have a nice life." This text is excellent because you are making him or her feel guilty about ghosting you. 9. 98. 20 Funny Out-of-Office Messages to Inspire Your Own [+ Templates] - HubSpot Be Thankful To Be Alive Quotes. HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. Oh, a thought crossed your mind? This just in: Bad communication skills are not trending this season! If ugliness was measured in bricks, I would be the Great Wall of China. Death is inevitablesome might even say it is a terminal inconvenience or a reason to suddenly stop sinning. Do you really care? She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping." funny response to are you still alive - hazrentalcenter.com 77. No one loves superheroes. *licks lips*. 63. Now, I understand why some animals eat their young. Comeback for "oh you still alive".. : Comebacks - reddit Liked what you just read? Tell them to stop being nosy and avoid answering. Because my milkshake doesnt bring boys to the yard. At the end of the day, if theyre not putting in the effort to let you know theyre not interested, theyre probably not worth your time. Id love to give you a nasty look, but it appears you already have one. Shane from The L Word? *sips wine/tea*. 6. Thats funny, because everyone on it is a prick. Maybe because I lick my plate clean after having a scrumptious meal. Are you Jamaican? 9. Check out the following infographic for some practical tips to maintain a conversation and take it forward.SaveIllustration: StyleCraze Design Team. alive # dead meat # tremors # kill count # survived # reaction # united states of al # dean norris # unitedstatesofal # you only live once reaction # united states of al # dean norris # unitedstatesofal # you only live once 35 Best Texts to Respond to a Date that has Ghosted You 42. Just Smile And Nod That will ensure there will be at least one man who will regret my death. Heinrich Heine (author), Fear of death increases in exact proportion to increase in wealth. Ernest Hemingway (author), Its funny the way most people love the dead. If I had a tail, I would wag it! Here are some funny, witty, snarky, smart, and sarcastic responses to some of those annoying everyday questions its hard to avoid: I couldnt possibly cover all of the annoying everyday questions that are probably chipping away at you, but here are some of the most popular: Related 26+ Funny Responses to Being Asked on a Date (Replying Yes or No), Related 29+ Funny Responses to Compliments. Despite not being the most popular topic of conversation, the concept of death has inspired quite a few clever and insightful sayings over the years. Is my relationship status a joke to you?! . Is that a scar on your face? I guess what Im trying to say is, pick your response carefully based on who youre talking to. I dont know where you got your looks, but I hope you kept the receipt. I'm not Hal and we're not in space. Better than most, but maybe not as well as others. It is a humorous way of saying they have not heard from you in a while. Arthur lived a short life, but none could doubt that it was a good one. "All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage." Lord Byron (poet) I bet if you stood on a street corner, youd make some money. Click here for additional information. Sometimes, being emotional stops us from replying to the messages of others. Too early to say, it hasnt finished yet. Ive seen your kind before but last time, I had to pay admission. I am better on the inside than I look on the outside. Ah, sarcasm. Wait, are you my Superman/Wonder Woman? Moving in with Roommates? 10 Perfect, Sarcastic Responses To Annoying Humblebrags Why would he text me "Are you still alive?"? - GirlsAskGuys How dare you assume such a thing just a confusing remark. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. Youre worse. 32. Spiritually? Its no secret that essays take longer to write than typical text messages. 2. There are nosy people everywhere! Thats the biggest joke Ive heard recently. But, compared to messaging, pigeons are much slower. Then you die. She is a Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner from The Priority Academy and has over 17 years of experience in content writing and editing for online media. "If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. Before I answer, I let you know that those who know my age get bad luck. Over The Phone or On The Phone Which is Correct? Alright so far, but there is plenty of time for things to get bad. It can be good to just say it how it is. My favorites were: "I'd rather have bamboo shoots shoved under my toenails." "I'd rather be in hell with both arms cut off." He was an angry, creative man.

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